How to escape the Comparison Trap – Ep 103 with Angela Raspass
We live and work in such a hyper-visible and connected online world today. The windows and front door to our competitor’s businesses are wide open to us through their websites and social media platforms. And so we can find ourselves visiting all too often, obsessing over what services and programs they’re offering, how many comments they’re getting on their blogs and FB Lives, how many people are in their groups, what marketing activities they’re implementing and so on and so on…
Occasionally these surreptitious forays can be positively affirming as you benchmark yourself.
But in my personal experience, and in hearing the stories of dozens of clients, it’s far more common that these forays see you tumbling headfirst into The Comparison Trap. It’s a place I’ve often fallen into and that’s why I’ve created a 4 step approach to escaping it, quickly!
Listen to the Episode
- There is an endless number of people you could compare yourself, your business and your achievements too, and it’s all too easy to do so, even when you innocently believe you are just in “research mode”. That can be a slippery slope, with an inevitable sense of being on the losing side because there will always be someone who has done something that you wish you could have achieved or feel you should have accomplished by now.
- You’re only seeing the tip of the iceberg without the bulk of facts that underpin it. How do you know if that “incredible program” is actually selling? How do you know for sure that the owner of the website is happy and fulfilled with their work? How do you know if the “amazingly engaged” Facebook Group you’re lurking in is actually delivering new clients to the founder? How do you know that the pretty average looking course is not a huge profit producer?
- Even if the projected successes you’re seeing are true, are you actually comparing your business beginning with their mature middle? And is that the actual business that you want?
- Rather than comparing yourself with others, compare yourself with whom you were last week, last month, last year. Stay connected to your vision. Measure your progress. Create more than you consume.
- The Escape System brings in two modalities that I’ve found really useful – Acceptance Commitment Theory and the Emotional Freedom Technique.
- Notice: Recognise the tension
- Name: Identify the thoughts you are choosing to have and the emotions they are causing
- Neutralise: Detach from the misbeliefs and release the emotions
- Nourish: Take care of yourself with a self-compassion plan
- In essence, the system is about awareness (notice and name) and action (neutralise and nourish).
- A strong mindset is an essential part of being in business for yourself and
- The Escape System is just one way that I can help you as you discover, deepen and expand in Your Next Chapter. Book a Breakthrough Session with me to discover more!
Links and More Information
I mentioned the episodes where I chat with Russ Harris about ACT (Acceptance Commitment Therapy) and Suzanne Scarrow about EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique.
I also mentioned that Byron Kate has a fabulous emotions guide – I think it’s really important that we are familiar with the whole range of emotions so we can understand exactly what we are experiencing – there is great power in this. You can download the list here.
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